Remind me next time that weaning is just as magical & respectful for the little ones & myself when I'm clear. Like, when I chose & I'm standing there. A part of me never totally abandoned the idea that I'd nurse my kids 'till they were 5. As it turns out, we go about 2 1/2 years in our family. That's about when it becomes too much & I can't count on myself to be consistently loving & tender. That's about when I can count on spontaneous burst of agitation & then loads of guilt about it. Kinda defeats the purpose, yeah? So if you should find yourself needing to wean, let me share with you what we've done successfully, twice now.
First off, I was on-again, off-again, confusing for all of us. Then I was, "Here's the deal," setting strange boundaries like, "only in the morning & at night," "only when you're hurt," or, "only when it's nap-time (& you're melting during a playdate)." I don't recommend any of this nonsense.
The So Sweetest Weaning Party for The So Sweetest Boy
1. We picked a date a week out, when we knew both Bear Pants & I could be emotionally & spiritually present.
2. Picked out a set of beautiful dishes, just like his older brother got, but different. We picked real porcelain to show respect for his capacities & big-boyness. Washed them.
3. Got a "sup-sup bottle," a non-leaching stainless steel bottle fitted with his favorite sippy-cup top (We like Sigg & Klean Kanteen). "Sup-Sup" is Pilipino for nursing. This was for the nights, should he get thirsty.
4. Began telling "the Rainbow Bridge" during the nights & talking about it during the day. This set up a magical, if linear, timeline for him to notice his journey from spirit to birth, & beyond.
5. Got a red cardboard suitcase in which to present all this very important stuff.
6. "Where do you want your very last sup-sup?" Because he had no intention of ever stopping, he easily answered. "Bath."
7. Ordered his favorite Thai food from an amazing place in town that serves unusual regional dishes. Got Jungle Curry w/ just veggies, 3-Flavour Fish, Steamed Snapper. And Organic Soy Decadence Ice Cream.
8. Sat at the table - candlelit, of course- & placed his suitcase in his spot.
9. "Oh wow!" We hurriedly reminded him of the Rainbow Bridge story as he ripped right into his gifts: How he was born & floated to the top of the water, how we said, "Welcome, we're so happy to see you," & he nursed. Continued with how he turned 1 & was a big baby who walked, then 2 & he could feed himself completely & now he's a big boy & ready to stop nursing & use his own special dishes & get our love in a different way.
10. He ate a full meal on his new dishes, filled his water bottle himself & went up to his bath for his last sup-sup. Sigh. Sigh.
This really Was dreamy & easy. But also full of humanity. There was firmly asking our 6 year-old to stop trying to make him understand, Really, " You know this means you're DONE. You're never gonna nurse Again. You sure you don't want to One Last Time???" There was a couple of wake-ups, some tears, some scrapes, some runny-noses that had me wanting to take it all back. There was wearing a high-necked pajama for a bit & sleeping on my tummy as deterents. And...he's so happy now. He sleeps great, he knows that part is over. He asks me if he can nurse & I say, "No, have a heart-to-heart tackle." He asks me if I'll carry him all the way around the block. "Of course. When someone comes to help with your brothers...But let me give you all my love Right Here."
